Confessions of a Dangerous Herpetologist

The Guamanian Dream Team

It’s been a week since my arrival to this strange little island called Guam. Getting used to the heat and humidity hasn’t been nearly as difficult as I thought it would be, which can probably be attributed to the breeze that rarely subsides. Right now it’s the beginning of the dry season (or so I’ve been told), with winds coming into the island mainly from the northwest. They’re really nice. We’ll see how they are during the rainy season. Of course, it’s interesting that they call this the dry season, given that it seems to rain at least a little bit every day. I’m not complaining, believe me: the weather is gorgeous here. It’s just interesting getting acquainted with a tropical climate after coming from a place where it was consistently below zero and dry.

Now, back to Guam being strange. There are some really interesting things about this island that may or may not be unique to this place. This is the only pacific island apart from Hawaii to which I’ve been, so my perspective is going to be a bit narrow. In terms of culture, there is an interesting mix here. Almost all of the tourists are from Japan, many of whom hang out in the highly developed (and exceedingly sleazy) downtown area of Tamuning. This place is a combination of places like Planet Hollywood, the Hard Rock Café, large department stores, even an IMAX theater (something I would be interested in checking out depending on what they’re showing), along with an abundance of strip clubs, gun clubs, and other sketchy establishments. Apparently some of the Japanese tourists are big into shooting their firearms inside buildings while on vacation: good times.

The dominant ethnic group on the island, the folks that were here first, are the native Chamorro people. The Chamorro (I haven’t seen “Chamorran” or something like that used) people are the original inhabitants of the Mariana Islands, of which Guam is about the southern-most island in the chain. I believe all of the Marianas are now under U.S. control. I’m going to try and learn more about the Chamorros and maybe even learn how to speak their language a little (it has yet to be seen how successful I’ll be at that). It feel that I have a responsibility to do so, given that I’m on their turf.

There is also a very large U.S. military presence here, a fact of which I’m sure most folks are aware. Almost everyone I spoke with who has/had been in the military has at some time been to Guam. Andersen Air Force Base takes up a good chunk of the northern end of the island, while the Navy has a strong presence in other parts of the island. I haven’t had too much interaction with the folks stationed here, but I’m sure I will with time. I do have a navy ID now and I’ll soon have one for the air force base. I don’t know what they’re thinking giving me those kinds of privileges. Let’s hope they don’t let me get my hands on a uniform of some kind—then there’d be serious trouble (trouble for me, that is).

Apart from that, Guam is a mix of various other people from different parts of the world, mostly from east Asia or other islands (Korean, Chinese, Filipino, etc.). There is also present on the island an extremely hairy beast from the western coast of North America. This is a rather reclusive creature, for the most part placid, unless seen mowing down opponents on a rugby field. Perhaps you’re thinking of Sasquatch? No, dear friends, I’m speaking of Brent Vickers: one of the hairiest people I’ve ever met (though he still doesn’t quite beat Charlie Edson). I’m thinking his nickname should be “Wooly.” Of course, Brent is much more than a mammoth: from what I’ve experienced so far, he’s an insightful biologist, an expert rugby player (his team from UC Berkeley were the national champions), and an extremely funny guy. I can already tell the sarcasm is going to be laid down mighty thick with this brown treesnake team.

I think it’s about time that I devote some of this blog to that very group of folks, those individuals with whom I’ll be spending a lot of time over the next year or two. Before I got to Guam, I wasn’t aware of how many people are on the USGS Brown Treesnake Biological Assessment, Management, Interdiction Task Force and Suicide Squad Rapid Response Team Extraordinaire (a.k.a. the USGSBTBAMITFSSRRTE). I kid, I kid. We’re merely known as “The Brown Treesnake Project,” a component of which is the Rapid Response Team, which parachutes (not literally, though planes are involved) into pacific islands where there has been a legitimate brown treesnake sighting. We then try to find the snake or the population of snakes that may be present in order to eliminate the problem (or at least find out, early on, that a population has become established).

The coordinator of the Rapid Response Team is Haldre Rogers, an amazing woman a little older than myself (I’m pretty sure she’s 25). Apart from being an exceptional biologist, she is basically a Super Athlete (not to be confused with Super Dave, who was not even close to a “true” athlete). Haldre is originally from Vermont, where she probably spent her childhood and adolescent years running up mountains at top speed. She participates in adventure races in which she is frequently the winner, even when most of her competitors are men in peak physical condition. In her presence, they are proven to be the pansies they are. No, no… again, I jest. I’m sure these guys are good… she’s just better, that’s all. Another of her extrajobular activities is playing rugby with the Guam Rugby Club. She’s the only woman on the team and she’s a great player (I got a taste of her skill this weekend at the annual rugby tournament, “True Grit,” which her team won). Brent has quickly joined up with the club, so I’m sure I’ll be seeing quite a few matches while I’m here. Who knows, maybe I’ll join up at some point? After which I’ll proceed to get absolutely destroyed. So maybe rugby isn’t in my future, but I do want to do some mountain biking with Haldre once my bike gets here (which will be next June). I’m sure she’ll leave me a massacred pile of Jell-O, but it will be the beginnings of getting my ass into great shape.

At the helm of our crew is Michelle Christy, our resident Aussie and post-doctorate researcher. I haven’t had too much interaction with Michelle, but she has been very kind and welcoming to me since I’ve arrived. She also has a great sense of humor and her passion is frogs. If we didn’t get along to some extent, you know something is not right with the cosmos. The other post-doc on the team is Claudine Tyrrell, who I have yet to meet. All I know is that she’s from New Zealand and got a great deal on her apartment. This is probably a good time to mention Gordon Rodda, who, I think, is basically the current head honcho of the project. I stayed with Gordon for my last night in Fort Collins and he’s an amazing guy. Gordon looks like your average Vermont woodtick (scraggly beard, crazy hair, torn up shirt, old jeans, etc.), but don’t let that fool you. He’s a brilliant ecologist with many ridiculous skills in other venues. As an example, just a few years ago he and his wife Renee were building their new home. Through some blueprint errors on the part of the architect, an extra room was built into the house. So they have an extra room, which Gordon didn’t know exactly what to do with. After rearranging some things (and moving walls… much or which he did himself), Gordon decided to make it a workshop. But he didn’t have tools! So, Gordon went out and bought a bunch of woodworking tools. Now the only problem was he had never really used this stuff, so he had to learn how. In a matter of a couple years, he became a highly skilled woodworker. He has made several bookshelves in his home (not “just” bookshelves, either: we’re talking beautiful pieces made of cherry with oak inlays all sanded down and “perty”), a gorgeous desk with pear-shaped drawer stacks, and these amazing matching bureaus for himself and his wife (they involved bending wood and making these curved patterns that stick out of the wood and flow between drawers—it’s really difficult to describe, but much more difficult to make!). Then there’s the Rube Goldberg-esk marble machine he made. I could go on.

My other compatriots on the team are Matt, Chris, Karen, and Andy, all great folks. Matt is originally from Alabama and quite adept in all things related to snakes. He has done a lot of work with vipers, which seem to be his main passion. Chris is a Delaware native: he enjoys long walks on the beach, reading under shady trees, and skating on Yeager’s pond. Whoops! Sorry, that’s something else. Before this position, Chris worked as a biologist at a wildlife refuge in Las Vegas. Yup, you read that correctly. It’s actually inside the Bellagio and currently being run by Siegfried and Roy. I’m joking, it’s really operated by Wayne Newton. Actually, I’m not sure of the details, but it’s this relatively small sanctuary that, I think, is surrounded by (or adjacent to) sin city. I guess there are some cool, and rare, animal species managed there. Karen originates from southern Florida and she has a cool story. Karen is in her early 40’s (though you would think late 20’s), she has 3 kids, and she recently went back to school and earned her bachelor’s. Now she works on a tropical island and catches snakes for a living. Yeah, baby! Her daughter, Dianna, is an artist (the little I’ve seen is great stuff) and she’s living here for a few months. Her son, Matt, will also be coming to Guam for a couple months this summer. Then, we have Andy, who I talked about in my last entry. Andy is a funny kid: originally from Missouri, he is the team’s rodent man (and I don’t mean that with any offense). I have a goal for Andy: expose the boy (ahem) to some “CULCHA!” [read, “culture” with a strong New England accent] as Ellen Cox would say. He has been a bit sheltered in his existence and needs to at least get acquainted with the wonders of Thai, Indian, and, God forbid, other ethnic foods.

Finally, there are Pete and Jason, both of whom have been on the BTS team for quite a while. Jason is the longest standing resident, with about 10 years under his belt. Pete is a really nice guy and, as described by all members of the team, the best snake handler we have. They seem to trust him, probably because he likes them and handles them gently. The same cannot be said for Jason, who, though nice, handles them pretty roughly. The snakes respond by trying to bite him whenever possible.

And that is the team—11 crazy individuals (on Guam), all sharing the common goal of managing, reducing populations, and preventing the spread of brown treesnakes. This week and the next couple weeks are really an orientation period for Brent and I. This week we learned the basics: how to handle snakes, “morph” snakes (measuring and weighing them), use equipment (chainsaws, etc.), fill out time sheets, maintain the lab, mess with your coworkers, etc. Much of our time will be spent training for the Rapid Response Team. The RRT training is pretty intensive and there are numerous requirements that must be fulfilled before you can even go on a deployment: 31 hours of night searching (6 of which are an introduction to the methods—we did 3 last week), 2 hours of fenceline searching, 8 hours of trapping (much of this will be done during normal work), 3 hours in a venomous snake workshop, and another 9 hours with other workshops. It sounds like a lot, but much of what we’re doing in the next couple weeks is this training. I’m sure it will go by quickly, plus it’s just a lot of fun.

On Thursday night, we had a lot of fun doing our first nighttime search. During the day, about 10 snakes were released into an outdoor enclosure (basically a wall of concrete surrounding a chunk of jungle) from which they can’t escape. Later that night we go in and try to find them. For the first exercise, each person goes in looking for snakes, writing down each individual they see (avoiding repeats). No one can point out a snake to anyone else, so this is done basically in silence. At the end of the session, you compare how many snakes you found. We then did a brief roadline search, where you walk along a road and scan for snakes in the trees. The last task was going back into the enclosure and rounding up all the snakes. That was a blast. I think we caught all of them within half an hour, which is no small task for us amateurs, especially when some of the snakes are small and climbing in the tops of trees.

Outside of work, things have been pretty good. I’ve spent most of this weekend watching Brent and Haldre play in the rugby tournament, which was a good time. I took tons of pictures and I’m excited to see how they turned out. There were teams from Australia and Japan there, all of whom were talented. One of the teams, the Samurai from Japan, were insane. Those guys are insanely fast and incredibly good at passing and cutting. It’s one of those things that needs to be seen, but picture all these relatively small guys up against these beefy Guamanian and Australian dudes. The latter folks are by no means slow, but these Japanese guys ran circles around most of them. In the end, Haldre’s team prevailed (they work really well together as a group, plus the Samurai lost one of their best guys to an injury in the final game), however, those Samurai really impressed everyone. Geez, I feel like Bob Costas.

Oh, I need to conclude by talking about some of Guam’s other weirdness. Okay, there are tons of people (it’s mostly the Chamorro guys who I have seen do this) that have small, S-10-sized pickups that they jack up into ridiculously top-heavy, “muddin’” trucks. They’re literally jacked up at least 2 feet higher than they should be. I swear, if they took a sharp corner, they would definitely flip over. I’ll try to post some pictures of them. These pickups remind me to mention how terrible many of the drivers are here. They’re not bad in terms of speeding or tailgating (such as Maryland), but more driving into the road when it’s way too dangerous to do so, turning off slowly without blinkers, and, as one guy did to me this afternoon, driving in the breakdown lane next to me. This guy was probably on PCP. I’m heading back from the rugby game, when I hear this honking behind me. Along comes this guy in the breakdown lane, truck full (in both the cab and back) with guys. He rides up alongside me for a bit, then falls back. I look in the rearview mirror to see him slowly move back into the lane. The only problem is that there is a car directly where he’s merging in. The car had to move completely into the opposing lane and go around him before having a head-on collision. Yikes. Good thing this was at only 35mph or else it could have ended badly.

Also, there are chickens and "Boonie" dogs (i.e., wild dogs) EVERYWHERE. The folks next door to me have a boonie dog the BTS folks have named Nipples. I’m sure you can guess why. Some people have mocked that Joe and Lisa’s dog, Carly, has large nipples. Au contraire, mon ami: this dog is in a league of her own. This dog has cow teats! She’s also in pretty bad shape health-wise, but that seems to be the case with most dogs on the island. And, really, what better way is there to end this entry than on the subject of dog nipples? I can think of no other.

Posted by Isaac at February 8, 2004 7:09 PM