Harvey Smeewhacker has been described by Popular Photography as "The photographer's photographer... a modern artistic wizard." Although it may not seem so, Mr. Smeewhacker is nearly as mortal as any other human being.

Growing up in a small suburb of Springfield, Massachusetts, Harvey Smeewhacker was a precocious child. With his astronomical IQ (95) and obvious artistic genius, it was clear that little Harvey was destined for greatness... or at the very least a membership in Mensa. He first picked up a camera at the age of five— a Hasselblad belonging to his father, the renowned Reginald "Chili Dog" Smeewhacker. Despite his young age, he managed to shoot a self portrait before dropping Dad's incredibly expensive camera into the unflushed family toilet. On his eighth birthday, after persistent encouragement from his father to leave home and seek his fortune, Harvey received a disposable camera of his own and never looked back.

In junior high, Harvey received an honorary degree from the Harvard Business School. While the mistake was correctly shortly thereafter, the honor was clearly merited. By the end of high school, Harvey knew what he had to do: move to New York.

Apprenticed under such renowned photographers as the late Ansel Adams, the late Jim Axegrinder, and the late Jim Tardy, Harvey quickly outgrew every teacher with whom he studied. Art Wolfe has even confessed to being Mr. Smeewhacker's personal "flunky." Galleries began to open their doors and purses to him, and he began to drink the sweet milk of the success: its potency sustains him through the present day.

Currently a professor emeritus of Applied Interdisciplinary Political Photographical Philosophical Ecological Ethical Musicology at ITT technical institute, Mr. Smeewhacker has served as an artistic advisor to the Pope, a forensics expert under J. Edgar Hoover, and even as a still-life consultant to Julia Child.

Commercially, he has photographed for National Geographic, Vogue, Modern Drummer, Boys Life, Ranger Rick, Rolling Stone, Spin, Modern Maturity, Cosmopolitan, Playboy, Playgirl, Playdead, Penthouse, Hustler, Contemporary Catholicism, Home and Garden, Martha Stewart Living, Mountain Bike Action, Reader's Digest, and countless others.

He lives with his four wives and nine children in Chicago, New York, Vermont, and Madagascar.

For more information on hiring Harvey Smeewhacker, or for information on breeding the white-footed mouse (Peromyscus leucopus), contact T. Henry Crumnutter, his agent and publicist, at their office number: (708) 555-SMEE or via e-mail at smeewhacker@yahoo.com