Frankly, I’m a little disappointed. I saw you, beautiful woman, and being optimistic in general about human nature, expected you to regard me at worst neutrally. But I saw you step with greater speed when you glanced back and saw me behind you. Why do you fear me?
I saw it in your eyes; this denial comes too late and only reenforces what I know. Why do you fear me? I am not the one to be feared.
I am the masochist, not the sadist. I do not wish you “at my mercy,” though I would happily wish you at my side. So my hair is long, I am large, and I do not look normal. Why is this reason for fear? We freaks should be not your worry; we hide nothing. There is no secret evil lurking under me. I am a misfit and make no effort to hide it. Why would I try and hide some of my nature from you when so much of it is so accessible?
It makes no sense this fear you have. My eyes held gentleness; yours fear. I am a big fluffy bunny. It is the truth. I am snuggly. I am a big fluffy bunny rabbit. I have been told so by people of great observence upon seeing me for the first time. Is it so difficult to see nature in someone’s eyes and demeanor?
If I were one to take and I had wanted you so badly as to take you unwillingly, do you think that a quickening of pace would have helped you? Perhaps you were just scared that I would talk to you. Frightened that I might complement you sincerely and ask you out. Horrors. I strike fear into the hearts of women everywhere with kindness and sincerity. Who knew that these qualities could actually be found in a man. Frightening, no?
I am not the one for you to fear. It’s him. The normal one. The Prince Charming. Or was that the frog? The one with the new daddy-bought-me-mobile that you admire so much. The one who camera-flashes you a smile, casts you a line, and asks you out of your clothes. Oops. On a date, I meant. You swallow. The line with a giggle and accept his gracious invitation for dinner and perhaps a trip back to his room. You are so in love (well, at any rate, you can’t find a better term for it. I could). One night you’re just not up to it and the word “no” crosses your lips. Him, he’s always gotten his way and he never quite learned what the word means when spoken to him. He takes it anyway, leaving you crying at your loss. He never figures out why you’re not interested in him anymore, after all, he tells his brothers, it was your fault. You never figure out why he betrayed your trust and raped you. It was because he was never worthy of trust to begin with. You put your trust in a smile, a haircut, a line, and a car. You put your fear in me. I’ll feel sorry for you when the drama plays you, as it is almost certainly bound to. I honestly will. I won’t think that you deserved it. There are things that no one deserves. But don’t expect me to think that you were entirely without fault. We all choose with whom we associate. No one can make every such decision correctly, but I see so many make all of them wrong, then I can no longer mourn their pain.
Fear me. Why not? I’m big and scary. Place your fear in me and your trust in the con man. Never, ever consider me as some one to be attracted to or fall in love with. It’s really quite all right. I don’t want you anyway. You always have make-up on. You always have your hair styled. You care too much about appearence for my tastes. And most of all, above all, you fear me. You choose to fear me. You don’t even know me. I don’t want those who choose fear as their first choice.
I see the look of curiosity forming in your eyes now. Maybe I’m a poet or rock musician or something hip like that. Right? Go away. I don’t want you. I am a big snuggly bunny. You fear me. I don’t like people who fear me. The more people fear me, the less snuggly I become. I like being snuggly. I like being real. I like being a misfit. You, you can’t take it. I can see that in your eyes again. You chose fear; you lost your options. I could have loved you like he never could, but you choose fear.